Is there an ideal time? How long should you leave it after the funeral? As we think it can really help the grieving process if done well. So we asked and expert Anne Wadey – Head of Bereavement Advice Centre. This is what she said:
“As far as your original question about the timing of scattering ashes – I don’t think there is a ‘right’ time other than what is right for each individual family/relative. I think the ‘right answer’ is what seems right to them – which in some cases may mean negotiating some family compromises. Avoid becoming embroiled in those whatever you do.
Some people keep them forever or until a surviving partner dies, others authorise them to be scattered/interred at the crematorium with no additional ceremony and all the options inbetween which you so helpfully outline.
I personally have a dislike of the term closure – it suggests there is an end point to missing someone. I think this is unhelpful, there will be various milestones at which most people find themselves looking forward more than back, in some cases coping with the idea and actuality of a new relationship but others, especially the very elderly will ‘turn their face to the wall’ as they perceive there is no future.”